Jun
The Grudge
I ran into a situation today that reminded me of an incident from over twenty years ago. The incident happened in a burger joint in northern New Jersey. Some people came in whom I knew, and I said hello as they passed my table. Three said hello, and one walked by trying to ignore me. I asked one of the fellows why the one man was obviously angry at me. Angry? He really held a grudge!
Here is what transpired:
The incident had happened ten years prior . The man was in a bar, and a woman came in and sat down. In his mind, he had her “staked out” and was gathering the courage to talk to her. I came in about that time and started talking to her. Then I went outside to get something out of my car. While I was gone, this fellow came to talk to her. She replied that she was not interested. He walked away, feeling rejected.
I came back, sat beside the woman and she and I had a couple of drinks before leaving together.
That man was seething. He felt he had her staked out, and that I was stealing his future girlfriend.
There is more to the story. That woman did not idly walk into that bar. She was supposed to meet me there. I was a few minutes late. The fellow never had a chance, because she was with me before she even walked in the door
As you can see, all of it was in his own head. The man held a very real grudge for all those years. He might still be angry at me. I never had an inkling that anything was wrong.
When I heard this, I was baffled and amused and a bit appalled. If you put it in perspective, here was a man who hated me because my girlfriend got to the bar before I did.
If you hold grudges, consider this. You might be resenting someone who does not even know there is a problem. Here you are nursing that grudge and resenting his very existence while he is walking around without a care in the world. There is a saying for that:
You are letting him live in your head, rent-free.
Those grudges get heavy!
Forget the grudge and get on with the business of living. The more time you spend embroiled in resentment, the less time you enjoy living.
