Uncle Thor's Lessons, Anecdotes and Humor

In Summer of 1972, one of the most popular songs was “Can’t Live” sung by Harry Nilsson. It had a nice tune, but the words were a bit sad. Or were they? At the time, I found them baffling. I had no experience that related to the song. My so-called family had left me emotionally alone. I did not understand what it felt like to be loved. They used the term “love” as a substitute for guilt. Being alone was the norm for me. There had never been anyone in my life who evoked even a mild version of the emotion expressed in that song.

I managed to spend most of that summer away from the immediate “family.” That was the summer I stayed at the Jersey Shore. During the day I spent most of my time with some friends I made. We rode around between Asbury Park and Spring Lake on bicycles, indulging whatever teenage nonsense seemed appropriate at the moment. My last sunset of Summer was spent on a pier with a girl named Bet. Maybe it was not true love, but at the time it was the most affectionate thing I’d ever known.

If you ever doubt about love, take heart. People may deny it to you. That is their problem. You do not need the love of someone else. You need to love something, be it an art or a hobby or a place. Getting love is easy, once you get the hang of it. Giving love is essential. It need not be a person. You can love playing music, love painting, love a sport, a place or anything else. The act of loving is what makes you. The pouring of yourself into the thing you adore is what separates you from lesser beings. Love feels best when it is given, rather than received.

If you can love, then someone worth loving can love you.

That is all it takes.