Aug
Seaside Humor
When a tortoise is walking, it seems to have a very determined look. Granted that turtles and tortoises do not have facial expressions. The animal’s face is somehow reminiscent of a look of determination.
A few miles away from us is the shore. Several towns have tourist restaurants which play up the seashore angle. They are usually named after a coastal scene, a ship’s captain or a marine creature. You can spot them instantly. For one thing, these hokey eateries are cavernous. Another thing is the use of nautical or coastal motifs, from fake weathered wood to rusty anchors and plastic fish nets. All of these things send a clear message: do not eat here!
By the way, their seafood is not caught locally. Like most restaurants, they get it at the South Street seaport of Hunts Point in New York.
The summer tourists are another thing, entirely. Most amusing are the old folks. It is hilarious to see them in their modern version of the leisure suit, marching off to the fake nautical restaurants. The funniest thing is their demeanor. They walk side by side, almost in step, with the same look of determination as the tortoise. We see this happen every time we go to the shore in summer season. One might think the old geezers were preparing to storm a fortress rather than eat at a scam joint.
The tourist season brings it s share of laughs. However, the seaside businesses depend on it. They have to make enough in four months to survive the year. Summer tourists are a necessity for them.
That does not change the fact that some of the seaside visitors are funny.
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Recently, the mayor of the seaside town of Belmar, NJ, spoke of a problem with “guidos.” Locally, a guido is a summer tourist who acts like a jerk. Further north, the definition is more specific – it means an Italian jerk. There was an uproar among Italians from Staten Island and northern New Jersey about the reference to guidos. I think it is funny. Normally, these same people make fun of guidos. Perhaps they do not want other people making fun of their guidos.
