Uncle Thor's Lessons, Anecdotes and Humor

As a result of my mother-in-law’s passing, there is a lot of work to do preparing for the funeral. My wife’s brother Phil makes anything an exercise in exasperation. He is always in a rush. His frantic antics always cause him problems that set him back. In the wake of his actions, he leaves a lot of minor damage and angry people. Phil reminds me of the Fool of the Tarot: he leaps before he looks.

Phil is a reminder that haste makes waste. There is a difference between being quick and being in a frantic rush. I prefer to take my time and do it right the first time. Phil just rushes as fast as he can, and then ends up taking more than enough time because of all the accidents, mistakes and avoidable blunders.

The Havamal reminds us to look first before we enter a hall. Look before you leap. The few moments that you take to get things right always pay off in a job well done.

I ask that you read this entire thing before you think I am speaking ill of the dead.

Tonight ends on a somber note. Early evening Sunday, my wife’s mother passed. She was in her 80s in poor health. Audrey had spoken to her earlier in the day. The passing was not unexpected. In fact, we wondered that she had lived this long.

Arnhild had been born in Norway. She came here on the next to last boat before the Germans invaded. Her family was from the southern part of Norway, a few miles from Lindesness. The woman was a trip! How she ended up with my father-in-law is a mystery, as he was a no-nonsense kind of man. Thick Norseman that he was, he loved her. Last night we watched a movie called “Taking Woodstock.” There is a scene where the son asks his father why he stays with his mother. The old man replies, “I love her.” That could have been Harry.

Arnhild was difficult. She had a mental problem that surfaced all too frequently. I remember the first time we visited her in the hospital. “I’m in the loony bin,” she said, quite amused with herself. Usually her outbreaks caused trouble. Once, she called all of our friends and told some spiteful stories. Most of them knew that it was just Arnhild on a wing-ding, but some distanced themselves from us. Her excuse was that we should understand she has a “problem.” We understood, all right. Aaagh!

We have a saying around home that sounds like a joke, but is not. “Who was talking: Arnhild or her disease?”

Her disease progressed and she became more and more difficult the last few years. Arnhild moved to North Carolina to assisted living near my brother-in-law. She gave him a lot of grief, what with being cantankerous, spiteful and impossible to please. Arnhild was rather mean toward me sometimes, and she was also mean to her son’s wife.

Before you think I am taking my chance to speak ill of the dead, read a little further.

I understand something of mental diseases. I was s substance abuse counselor. Dealing with alcoholics and addicts was easy compared to dealing with the mentally ill. Two people who had been close to me in the early 80s turned out to have mental illnesses. They did crazy things when their diseases took control. So began my education about mental illness.

Over the years I have dealt with more than my share of them. They seem to find me sometimes. They think I am a doctor or a minister or whatever they think will cure them. Once when I was a counselor, I was sent to pick up a patient at a psychiatric hospital and escort them to the rehab. While waiting for the nurse to finish the paperwork, I heard the patients talking. The patients asked the other nurse, “Who is that doctor?” They meant me. They wanted to talk to me. Somehow they can spot folks of a magickal nature.

I had more than a few adventures with the mentally ill. You would find some of the stories amusing. Some of them are sad. For instance, there were some of them whose disease erupted so powerfully that they committed suicide. The illness is that serious and tragic.

There is a reason I would never work mental health. I just do not have the heart for it.

Doctors and nurses and therapists can say what they want about the diseases. All I can tell you is about my experiences dealing with mentally ill people. Give the professionals their due. They are wonderful people who devote themselves to working with some of the most exasperating ailments on the planet. As for me, I am pretty certain that nobody comes into this life wanting to be a wingnut. Even the bravest of those so afflicted carry a degree of embarrassment about their ailments. It is not like hearing people say, “That guy has a broken arm” or “That girl has pneumonia.” No stigma there! No, for these people it is “Look at the kookoo!” or “There is the crazy lady.” They never get used to it, even if they try to act like it’s no problem. It hurts them.

Before psychiatry got a better handle on these ailments, mental illness was as much a lifestyle as a disease. It became so tangled that it could not be undone. That was a consequence of the old psychiatric system. Even worse, most of them did not mean any of what happened when their disease was in control. They were powerless.

Arnhild was powerless over her disease. It had been with her most of her adult life. She did not mean the things she did. The cantankerousness and spite were symptoms of the problem. That doesn’t mean that things were easy for my wife or her brother. They had more than their share of exasperation and frustration. That is just part of dealing with a loved one who has a mental illness.

Arnhild will find peace tonight. Mental illness, like physical woes, does not carry over into the next realm. She had both. Like many Scandinavians, both her and Harry had diabetes. As if having just one problem is not enough for a person to bear. There is a sense of relief here because we know that Arnhild was not happy ever since Harry died. Fortunately, I had understanding of the malady before I met Arnhild. That made things a bit easier for everyone.

Mental illness is a difficult thing. I feel genuinely sorry for those afflicted with that burden. Though my wish had been to distance myself from them, my lot in life has been to deal with them in one capacity or another. Understanding does not make it any easier. All any of us can do is help when we can, and at other times stay out of the way.

What impression do you think you would be making on someone who is seriously asking about your beliefs?

If a person were to ask you about Heathenism, what would you tell him? Would you talk about old Gods and old myths? Would you speak of Vikings and heroic sagas? Would you describe rituals and fests and pub moots?

What impression would that give him? Would he get a positive impression? Or would he think of comic book Gods, Renaissance fair type re-enactors, fantasy game nerds and a bunch of wannabe bikers having a beer bust? All too often, that is exactly the impression that people take. The problem is that Heathens do not consider how their explanations might sound to those unused to unconventional religion. Likewise, they do not know how to address a person who is seriously seeking alternatives to conventional beliefs.

Can you tell him how Heathenism can make a positive difference in his life?

Can you give him examples of how Heathenism brings real results that he can appreciate?

Using you own life as an example, can you show him instances where Heathenism has made a positive improvement?

Before you even think of bringing the message of Heathenism to others, you need to be clear on its advantages in your own life. After all, anyone can read books and discuss Gods and lore and Vikings. How many can point to improvements in their everyday lives?

Are you living better?

Are you earning more?

Do you enjoy better relationships with others?

If your life was a shambles before Heathenism, can you show changes? Perhaps these are things such as the police not coming to your house any more, or no more visits to the local courthouse. Maybe you can show that you are no longer suffering from a gambling compulsion, alcoholism, addiction or some other compulsion.

What are you bringing to the table?

The best thing you can give is solid proof that Heathenism has benefitted you. Talk about Vikings and Rune all you want, but all that talk is nothing compared to tangible evidence of improvement. However an inquirer may pose his question, what he really wants you to show him is something he can see. A person cannot see the favor of the Gods, but he can certainly see better living conditions, better relationships and a more respectable way of living. Talk is just so many words. Actions and items are proof.

Current events make good examples of ideas in action. This week is a good one. The senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy was up for grabs in a special election. The winner was not the Democratic candidate, who would have been a likely successor. Instead it was a young Republican. This was not entirely unexpected.

Just a few months ago, the incumbent Democratic candidate was overturned in the New Jersey gubernatorial race. Despite having the support of the President and other prominent Democrats, John Corzine got a well-deserved unseating by the Republican challenger, Chris Christie. Corzine outspent Christie for campaign ads by at least twenty to one. In New York, Mayor Mike Bloomberg outspent his opponent in campaign ads by something like thirty to one. Nonetheless, Bloomberg barely squeaked a win.

All three of these elections are telling. More money and more support were not enough. People voted with their dissatisfaction. The problem was not new. People had been dissatisfied for a while and said so. The politicians did not listen, so the people gave them a stronger message on Election Day. A look at the elections indicates very clearly what needed to be done.

The New Jersey Democratic party backed Corzine because they knew he would spend his own money to win. They ignored the fact that money or not, he was extremely unpopular. Corzine came across as someone who was going to stick it to the people with more taxes. The Massachusetts Democrats underestimated the discontent brewing in their state. And “Mayor Mike” learned that folks were not as happy with him as he thought. Of course, everyone else knew this long before these elections.

The lesson is not a matter of Democrat versus Republicans. Party affiliation is not the point. The point of the story is arrogance and stupidity. The politicians ignored blatant signs that people were strongly opposed to their policies. They thought they could force a victory. The New Jersey and Massachusetts Democrats earned them selves a loss. Mayor Mike got himself the message that it was his money and not himself that won a tight race against a relatively weak candidate.

Read the signs and pay attention. If you ignore the obvious, you set yourself up for a disappointment. Nobody is so big or so popular that he can ignore the facts. When arrogance struts forth, stupidity follows. And when it comes to high-profile politicians, we can also look to the old Jamaican adage: “The higher the monkey climbs, the more his ass shows.”

****

Stupidiy is a large component of national politics. In the 2000 Presidential race, the Democrats ignored several inspiring candidates so they could run a candidate who was at the top of the “old boy” network. Maybe they felt the bland Al Gore would have a chance against the equally uninspiring George W. Bush. The race became a squeaker which was decided in court. Had the Democrats run a more inspiring candidate such as Bill Bradley, they would have won. The Republicans did not win on their own merits. The Democrats lost.

We saw the same kind of thing in the 2004 election. The Democrats ran an uninspiring and rather distant candidate named John Kerry. George Bush was able to defeat him handily by making issues of non-issues. Between his lack of charisma and the skeletons in his closet, Kerry was easily defeated even though many were dissatisfied with Bush.

The McCain campaign might have done better had it not been for Sarah Palin. What with the Senator’s age, folks thought there might very well be an instance of the vice president becoming president at some point. While Palin may have been a hit with some of the religious fanatics, she scared a lot of other people. Many who might have voted for McCain were deterred by the Alaskan governor.

All three of these are instances where politicians were focused on satisfying their pals rather than winning. When success is secondary, the likelihood of failure increases geometrically. Our nation’s politicians illustrate this point wonderfully with their failures and blundered elections.

Perhaps they are asking, “Were we that bad or were they that good?”

I am enjoying a PC game called Dawn of War. I bought it in the cheap software section of the local office supply store. Dawn of War is based on a game called “Warhammer 40,000.” They sold it in the hobby shop where I had worked for a while. The original hobby shop game is rather weird, as it entails various types of humanoids and peculiar aliens fighting wars. The PC game is fun because it entails enough visual science fiction to be entertaining.

Okay, I like watching gunfights with spacemen and aliens. Things are even better when there are odd space vehicles and space tanks.

Games like Dawn of War are just that: games. They do not teach the fine arts of strategy and tactics. They teach how to win by playing with the game’s particular rules. There is a way to beat the aliens in the game. That way may or may not be tactically or strategically sound for real-world conflicts.

Sometimes there are situations in life where the way to success is not tactically sound. There are people who make conditions that require a response peculiar to that situation, much like playing a game with its own set of rules. I am my own best example. I grew up in a household like that. Dysfunctional families impose their own unreal rules. The problem was that I had to balance two sets of rules: one for home and one for the real world. What made for survival in the everyday world would have led to my downfall in the artificial world that was my so-called family.

Unreal situations might very well require unreal solutions. Success means adapting to the situation so that you can overcome it. The plan for success is that simple: adapt to overcome. Whether the environment is the real world or something unreal, success is probable if you can adjust your methods for the specific situation that you are facing.

One of my regrets is that I never had a musical education. I tried the guitar, but my so-called father did everything he could to discourage me. Without lessons and support of some kind, the guitar went nowhere. My school had no music programs. The most music we got was singing their hymns at their church.

My wife had a lot of music. She was a music major and has an extensive knowledge. Her background was very different from mine. Her family encouraged her interest and supported it.

I feel that I missed a lot by not having musical education.

I like listening to music, but I do not fully understand it. What I do understand is that music is like painting and dancing and the Runes. The musicians Runes are the notes and chords. The painter’s Runes are his colors and blends. The dancer’s Runes are his steps and movements. The chef’s Runes are his textures and flavors and spices. In fact, you can find that each Rune resonates best with certain sounds, colors, shapes, movements, tastes, smells, and textures. The Runes are less of a mystery when viewed this way.

What are your Runes?

The earthquake in Haiti is a reminder that in this life, nothing is guaranteed. Safety and security is tentative. All the work of mankind cannot stem the tide of nature.

Haiti is the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere. It has been that way for a long time. The cause of such dire poverty is of human origin. Corruption in government has been a huge problem in Haiti for a very long time. The leadership plundered its own country. The excesses were personified by “Papa Doc” and “Baby Doc” Duvalier, a family dynasty that ruled Haiti for much of the 20th century. The Duvaliers lived in extravagant luxury. They had their own secret police, the feared “Tontons Macoutes.” The Duvaliers were part of a long line of corrupt rulers of the impoverished nation.

Despite massive amounts of foreign aid, abject poverty is the norm in Haiti.

Two centuries of corruption and greed has left Haiti in dire straits, even in the best of times. Now, it is devastated. There were the four hurricanes of 2008 that several damaged the island. The recent earthquake was far worse.

The horror is just beginning. There are many still trapped in collapsed buildings. The dead are everywhere, and the stench is pervasive. Survivors are facing shortages. Though many nations are sending aid, they are having a hard time getting it to the people. Even in the best of times, Haiti had a shaky infrastructure. The earthquake had wiped out most of it.

Haiti’s earthquake and its aftermath remind us that in life, nothing is assured. The forward weave of Wyrd has to contend with the crossweave. The other lesson is the human factor that affects matters of prosperity and poverty. Haiti’s government had been the major contributor to its poverty. Where there is need, there is greed. That poverty left the people more vulnerable to natural disasters.

We hope that the international relief effort is able to handle the daunting challenge of a devastated Haiti. And we hope that in the aftermath, the Haitian people have an opportunity at a better life. Its latest government is geared to working for the people rather than plundering them. Right now, it is time for rescue and recovery. Perhaps in the aftermath, a new day will dawn for the small nation.

This is an excerpt from a letter I had sent to an acquaintance. I kept this paragraph, as it might be helpful to you.

Here is an old wizard’s trick for when you feel as if you’re becoming overwhelmed. Drink a cold glass of water or soda. That can help “ground” you. The same goes for eating a heavy meal. The cold drink and heavy meal is good for when you want to stay grounded. Another old trick for when feeling frazzled is to touch something of iron. Iron tends to disperse that static-like stuff we used to call “astral fizzle.” If you have ever had to gone to a depressing place like a seedy gin mill, or visit someone in a jail or psyche ward, you might have felt it when you left. It feels like a mild form of static electricity. If you feel especially bad after such a visit, you likely have a feeling as if you want to take a shower. Running water helps. It is magnetic and pulls the “fizzle” away. Just running your hands under cold water from the faucet helps.

Every so often I am reminded of Paul. He was a young man who had turned his life around. Paul was bright and energetic. He took up Paganism. It opened many doors to him. In fact, he met the woman who became his wife because they were studying the same form of Wicca.

I had met Paul over 20 years ago. He was one of the people whom I had helped. He transformed from a troubled young fellow to a man with a purpose. A while later, Paul met up with some Wiccan folks and found himself a way of life. He took to Wicca the way I had taken to Heathenism some years previously.

Friends used to joke that Paul was my long-lost teenage son.

Paul and his wife settled on the other coast. They had two children. We were in contact less and less. One night, about 12 years ago, he made a very bizarre telephone call. Perhaps I should have followed up, but that was the last I heard from Paul. His wife continued to send Yule cards the next couple years. In the last one, it was evident she had changed the children’s surnames to her maiden name. The phone number no longer worked, and letters to her went unanswered.

It has been 12 years. I have not heard a thing from Paul. There was a hint that he might have gone to Pennsylvania, but that is more speculation than fact.

There are many who have lost a friend or relative into the mists of unknowingness. They go their way. Many people hold out a little hope that their missing friends and relatives might return. It is hard not to think the worst, even if we would like to see them have the best.

They are like a spaceship lost amid the distant galaxies. It may have crashed, it may have been destroyed, or it may be flitting between star systems trying to find its way home. Despite the likelihood that it is gone after all these years, we are like the station that continues to send a beacon for the lost spaceship. We leave a light on for them, so to speak, even if they have not come home all those long years.

Maybe we will hear from Paul one day. Maybe we will not. Nevertheless, my wife and I still hope that he is alive and well. For those of you who have a missing friend or relative, we understand. Hope is never lost, though it may fade with time. Until that time comes, we mentally leave a light on in case they return.

The problem with being a minority is that the majority judges us collectively on the actions of individuals. They have little else on which to base their perception of Heathens. Each of us is an ambassador of Asgard whether we realize it or not. Our words, actions and demeanor are the barometer by which Heathenism itself is judged.

Knowing that each of us represents Heathenism to the people around us, it behooves us to behave accordingly. We send a powerful message when we act as responsible citizens and neighbors. The more honorable we are in our dealings, the better the image we present. On the other hand, bad behavior can send an equally strong message. Drunken antics, belligerence and recurring incidents with the police present a tarnished image.

Do we present a smiling face or a scowl? Are we friendly and welcoming, or bellicose and threatening? In these times as in the past, an even-tempered, affable and fair-minded individual is prized far more than a bully or a coward.

The sword and spear were the tools of a distant millennium. Today, our best asset is our intelligence. By thinking from a higher level, we succeed in making our mark in these times. The fierce war chief was a fitting icon for the early Middle Ages, but not today. We do not need sword-wielding warriors. We need doctors, lawyers, scientists, ranking politicians, entertainers, sports heroes and other icons of achievement. The power of today comes from the mind.

The 21st century Heathen will live in harmony with his neighbors, setting an example of integrity, dynamism and goodwill. He will cultivate his mind. The Heathen will be a thinker rather than a reactive boor. Let our intelligence, ambition and good intent be the future of Heathenism. Only then can we emerge as a viable way of life rather than a tiny novelty religious sect.